Thoughts on bitterness

I read this this morning:

"Bitterness takes root when you respond in a judgmental way and refuse to work through your anger."

I can think of no more appropriate and accurate definition. That's exactly how bitterness happens, isn't it? Now, if I had had to come up with my own definition. I suppose I would have mentioned something about being hurt. But being hurt by someone doesn't always lead to bitterness. In fact, sometimes being hurt can lead to really sweet moments of comfort and love. It's the judgment that leads to bitterness. It's determining that the offending person is flawed and out of line... and that somehow, we are better enough to be angry about it. Judging can't be done when we're really in contact with how badly we need Jesus ourselves.

So if we decide to be bitter, we're really only hurting ourselves, right?

Well, choosing not to work through anger leaves us angry, sure. And I don't enjoy having unresolved anger compared to the freedom of peace. But the next part of this quote hit home for me:

"A bitter person's unresolved anger leaks out when provoked."

Been there? Many times I have thought I had taken the 'high road' and forgiven a person who (always unintentionally) hurt me, only to have the most revealing (and witty) words come out of my mouth. They're mean things. They're slanderous things. They're truely shameful. And judgmental. And they don't represent Jesus.

If they don't represent Jesus, who do they represent? I guess the words represent me and 'the wellspring of my heart'... but they also represent the lie I'm buying into. The lie that I am righteous enough to judge people. The lie that I didn't need Jesus's sacrifice just as much as the offending person for my own offenses. And who is the father of lies?

So, bitterness. Well described by Stephen and Alex Kendrick. I love it when God's people invite Him to speak through them!