A Vengeful God

Based on Psalm 18
My enemy gloated, thinking he had caught me alone, but his jumpiness implied that he knew he hadn’t really won. His eyes darted back and forth, surveying the area for signs of my rescue.
Then he began to speak. His voice sounded like my voice. His words were harsh and painful. He uttered phrases I had heard in childhood that would have seemed harmless to any bystander – but they were aimed at old wounds he hoped hadn’t yet healed. He whispered memories that were laden with shame and guilt in my history. He shouted labels and identities that I hadn’t ever dared say out loud in my worst moments.
And all of this only made me more aware of his weakness and his strategy. I stood still, unharmed, unafraid.
He began to predict my failure. He began to tell me all of the worst possible things that could happen to me. He began to tell me the worst possible things that could happen to the people I love. He painted descriptive pictures with his lying tongue – complete with the smallest detail and color of horrific tragedies and choices that could ruin us. My heart shuddered as he said my daughter’s name. I closed my eyes. I knew he was a thief and a liar – but how my stomach turned and pitched as he spoke. Finally, I filled the air with my own voice – screaming at first, and singing finally, praise songs to my savior.
Then I felt pain.
I saw the dizziness that preceded the worst headaches I’d ever experienced – and knew to anticipate the coming migraine. My ribs pulsed with the familiar incessant discomfort I recognized from pregnancy. My hip made me gasp, as I recognized the awkward pull that meant it was out of place. Every pain I’d ever experienced fell upon me at once and then pulsed intermittently, so I didn’t know what would come next. There were no new pains – nothing unfamiliar. All physical ailments I had experienced in the past and loathed. And all at the same time.
He stood smugly, staring at me for a moment, enjoying my suffering. I was not brave under physical attack. I cried while I moaned as softly as I could. He was still a liar. But the physical pain was real and present.
How long did he watch me writhe in search of relief from every wave of malady? As I struggled, I felt myself fall prey to the threats he’d made before – what if he was attacking my daughter now? What if his projections of the future were real? What if I was every horrible accusation he had flung at me before was true and I was… beyond redemption?
I felt the invisible cords of his words and his evil mind games entangle me. I felt rained upon by his destruction. I was confronted by his snare.
I called my Help. I called my Rock. I called my Everything.
He heard me.
The ground trembled beneath me – beneath us. I watched my enemy pause his breathing in fear. My rescuer was angry. He was coming for me.
Smoke rose all around us – his fury a violent fire we could see. He descended suddenly – soaring on the wings of the wind as only he could do. Darkness and fearful lightning, hailstones and advancing clouds, painful rain pelted the ground and I watched my enemy flinch beneath it. But I was covered.
His voice thundered. He shot arrows and scattered the enemy’s men, he routed them with lightning. He exposed the earth.
He rebuked the devil.
He reached down from heaven and took hold of me. He drew me to Him, safely removed from the foe that was too strong for me.
He brought me to a spacious place. He was my firm support. My body relaxed into a peace that knew no memory of pain. My mind floated in serene joy and comfort. I knew the ones I loved were protected in His impenetrable covering. And as He laid me to rest in the beauty and airiness and freedom of the place He had brought me, He sang over me that I was His delight. He lavished me with His love as His chosen daughter. He whispered that no one and nothing would separate me from Him.
He is my avenger. I love no other. I shall not fear.