Missing Brisy

I miss Brisy.

I've thought about her a lot - a lot -this week.

I guess I think about her often, but I haven't been 'skipping it' like I usually do.

I miss her hair; she had awesome hair. Always stylish and big and beautiful. And I was always impressed by the way she didn't have to wash it every day like I do. She came to visit us in Lubbock once and they stayed a day longer than they planned to. She just wore the same clothes the next day. She was so low maintenance in the important ways.

She used to enter the living room at their house and say 'ready to go? Okay'. Then she'd disappear into the back of the house. One time Deliahna said to her 'American time, Mom - not latin time' to encourage her to get me someplace on time. Deliahna's pretty awesome, too.

I was just thinking about this fancy tea-kettle-thing she bought, and that she might have bought it only because I liked tea. Maybe she drank it when I wasn't around sometimes, too, but it wouldn't be unlike her to have bought it only because she knew I liked to drink tea.

She did stuff like that.

Her laugh. She had the happiest laugh! We would play dominoes and card games and she would pretend she didn't understand the rules (I think she was pretending because she always ended up winning) and then she would laugh when she was playing wrong.

She was so considerate! Our first Christmas together, she had sushi at the house because Rick liked sushi. I don't think anyone else did especially, but she was looking out for him and his first Christmas away from home.

How she loved, loved, loved Madalyn. Nothing she would do for our little girl. The hardest part of Brisy being gone is what Madalyn (and Adelay, and Liam) are missing. I think Brisy knew that - knew how she would bless Madalyn in a million ways if she could stay! She had good relationships with her grandmothers; I remember her describing how they were different but both so special to her.

I guess that since it's been over a year, things have changed enough that I'm thinking about how different they would be if she was still here. Madalyn is older; we have a son. She would be able to tell me so much more about what Jason was like when he was little and how much Liam and Jason are similar and different. She and I would be closer, because I've grown and I would be better at being open and humble. She could help me so much. And sure, she'd annoy me I'm sure. I wish she would. I wish she was here to run absurdly late or miscommunicate or have some really long story that she tells in both english and spanish about people I don't know.

To laugh. To dance in a public place like she did in the movie theater after 'Finding Nemo'. I picture her in heaven jamming out to 'carwash' in platform shoes with long dark hair :-)

When I stayed with Jason and his family after we met, they took me to Reunion Tower for dessert and cocktails one night. Sweet Brisy was excited about us as a couple and apparently approved of me because she bursted out with "well, let's plan the wedding!" It was awkward. Jason and his dad were close to horrified. But it was so so wonderful. I'm so like her. In fact, I feel confident I'll do the same thing someday.

So I miss her. And I want to talk about her; but the other Northrups aren't really talkers and I want to be respectful of their own personal grieving process. Talking it out was more mine and Brisy's style than anyone elses. So before a I burst with stories and thoughts, I figured I'd share somewhere.

What a wonderful woman; and I'll hug her in heaven soon - after all, we are but a breath.